In these days I have seen a program on Tv that talked about the way italian men relate and behave with women. The speaker said that from a sociological research italian men can be classify in three categories:
For the first and the second category I have used the italian words because they are italian hackneyed phrases so they can't be translated literally, so now I will explain their meanings.
1) Bamboccioni is a category of men who never grew up, in the sense that they feel so good and comforted if they continue to live at home with family, cuddled and pampered by mothers, that treat them like a little boy, even if they are 40 years old. Men belonging to this category need and search for a woman that can substitute their mother figure and they are not brilliant and strong, infact they need to be pushed around by their wives, just like their mother did with them. They think to be ok in this way.
2) A Rubacuore is a seducer, a womanizer that adulates and wins women's heart. Often they have more than a women in their life and they don't want long relationships, but they are interested in one night stand. They consider women like a trophy to show to their friends.
3) A hermit is a solitary, shy and introvert man who prefers staying alone because a woman could bother and trouble their quiet and serenity. If they have a woman, she must be very very very quiet.
Ok, now my impressions.
I think that you can't generalize men in this way.
I really believe that there are a lot of godly and wonderful men outside.
I'm not a feminist, the last thing I will do is attack and belittle men.
It would be too superficial and expectable.
I think there are a lot of men that would like to find the ideal woman to stay with for all their life. Men have a big heart too and even if, sometimes they act to have a hard heart with friends and they boast about being single and indipendent, they instead dream to have a sweet wife and a wonderful family that wait for them when they come back home from work.
But I surely can say that men like these categories really exsist.
The fact that this speaker told things like these about men is really a strong sign that there isn't any christian and biblical culture here.
There is confusion and chaos about our role and tasks as men and women.
What kind of world are we living in?
I feel so overwhelmed about this!
The second and the third categories are to the extreme, they are totally in opposition! Rubacuori is too confident and without a heart while the Hermit is too shy and insicure and he doesn't live deeply, but he wastes his life..alone.
The category that hit me a lot is the Bamboccioni's one.
I have made a little research about this on Internet. I have been really surprised by the huge number of women that are complaining everyday because their men act like bamboccioni.
Really a huge number.
So I had a sea of confusion in my head!
I asked why do women complain for their pliable and compliant men?
Feminists fought hard to be the strongest sex, they wanted to be stronger than men. And I think that they sadly won their battle.
So why? You won and now you are complaining for your men?
A woman said about this: "This thing of Bamboccioni men is worring for me! I don't feel safe and protected anymore in men's world..I think I'll go to women's world, because they have become the strongest now.."
So...this is the demonstration that Feminists were wrong...maybe now they are understanding that they need a strong man in their life.
The charme of comanding is not so beautiful as you thought...am I wrong?
I don't think so...
Who is to blame for this?
Who is responsible for this?
Who has raised and formed these men?
These women gave a really bad education to their sons. They didn't form them to be a future leader, the father of a family. In Italy we say that they grow up like a "Cocco di mamma" that is mollycoddle (I hope this is the correct word to translate!..please let me know if I have used a strange or bad word!).
These women, without realizing (or willfully...), have passed their life to command and "protect" their sons, always thinking to be right. They love so much their sons, so they must be protected and controlled by them, always, so if they do what mom says, they will be safe and sound. Even if they are 40 years old and they have a family and children.
They are so jealous too of their sons...they can be terrible mothers in law...and believe me..I know. They consider their daughter in law an enemy, even if these young bride are good and sweet women.
And these man can be between the devil and the deep blue see.
It's normal that a mother loves her son, it's normal to protect a son, but this is not the way of raising him.
This is a selfish way.
This is an agressive way.
Agressiveness is a synonym of weakness.
You are weak so you are agressive to protect yourself, because you know that you don't have any strong and valuable weapons..in reality.
I'm not a mother yet, so if you aks me now how to raise a son, I don't know yet with precision, but I know what I won't do. I won't be agressive, selfish, ignorant. I won't be alone. I will be inspired by God, helped by my husband, family and the elder women (the wise ones.... ;-) ).
In these days I'm reading this wonderful and powerful book, I have called it "Our second bible". I encourage you to read it, it's a blessing and a breathe of fresh airs:
Click here to view more details
I was really touched reading these powerful sentences that are perfect here in this topic :
"As keepers of our homes, we have a unique opportunity to make a generational impact, both within and outside the walls of our homes.
As wives and mothers, our impact is greater than even we will ever
So a mother and a wife too have a really big and important responsibility.
Mothers raises the men of the future. Every single mother is important for this reason. I think you love your son and you would like that he can live in a beautiful and better world. So you can do something, you can do your part.
It's up to you.